Jian Ghomeshi Inspired Makeup Tutorial

Jian Ghomeshi Inspired Makeup Tutorial

This week, the CBC fired popular radio personalityJian Ghomeshi after it was alleged that he had sexually and physically assaulted at leastthree women.

Since the story broke, that number has grownofficially to eight women, and unofficially to upwards of twenty-two women when you countcomments on Reddit, blogTO, and other sources.

In response, Jian sued the CBC for 55 milliondollars.

Lots of people are scared to talk about thisissue, because, well, who would risk being sued for defamation? [DING] Without further ado, my Jian Ghomeshi-inspiredmakeup tutorial.

First step: foundation.

This colour is called,um, Beloved Public Broadcaster.

People love this shade, but if you use ittoo much, it'll go to your head and make you think that you can get away with anything.

Even a crime! Next step: primer.

So I'm using a new one, it is called ExpensivePR Firm.

And you apply this really liberally when youanticipate that something bad is going to happen to your reputation.

Dab dab, Facebook post evoking sympathy.

Dab dab dab.

Astronomically expensive lawsuitto distract the public and add credibility to your story, via a public record document.

Of course the lawsuit's not gonna go anywhere! He's a union employee, and he has no legal standing.

But he did take the time to sue, which mustmean he's serious, which must mean he's telling the truth.

right? Kinda convenient for a guy trying to forcehis version of a story, don't ya think? Next step is eye shadow.

I'm using a black colour with a red shimmer, called Pseudo-Intellectual Douchebag.

Smart people who read Giller Prize-winningbooks, they don't commit violent crimes! Uh, unless you're John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy,Jeffrey Dahmer, the Unibomber, or literally thousands of other intelligent people whohave committed violent acts.

[BLOWS A RASPBERRY] Next step is a pink shimmery eye shadow calledAnonymous Still Counts.

A lot of people critique the use of the Anonymousshade, like it's unreasonable to be afraid of a beloved national public figure who hashurt you and lied to you and slandered your name before you even got the opportunity toshare your side of the story.

I'm also using a special brush this week called2 to 4 Percent, which is the percentage of rape claims made to the police that turn out tobe false.

Let me repeat that for you: only two to fourpercent of reported rapes turn out to be false.

The blush I'm using today has been misidentifiedas a colour called BDSM in a lot of other makeup tutorials.

Um, but the actual colourwe're gonna use is called Straight-Up Assault.

If you compare them side-by-side, you cansee that, uh, BDSM has elements of other popular blushes in it, like, um.

you can see a glimmerof Continuous Consent in there, you see some Aftercare, uh, you see Rigorous Rules andRestrictions, you see Respect.

There's a heavy pigmentation of Respect mixed into BDSM.

If you look at Straight-Up Assault, you'llsee none of that.

They're two completely different colours,and one should not be mistaken for the other.

I'm using a liquid liner today, in a colourcalled Blind Ignorance.

You're gonna want to apply it quickly, confidently,and without really critically thinking.

Like, your hero has just, uh, committed an unspeakableviolent act against multiple women, and you're just like "Nope!" You know? La-la-la-la-la-la-la.

I can't hear you.

Wow, that makes me look kind of stupid.

Ohwell! Sorry guys, there's a fly in the.

I call this stuff The CBC, because when itsees vermin, it takes care of it.

And finally, lip colour.

The colour I'm usingis Why Does This Keep Happening? Why do we keep letting powerful men get awaywith violence? Why do we expect the world from the victim,but accept a Facebook post from the villain? And why, time after time, do we see a womanin trouble, and choose to not believe her? Yes, we still need more information aboutthis incident.

But if even the bare bones ideas presentedto us right now are true, then this is way beyond a pithy sex scandal we all can laughat.

This is a violent sex crime, committed by a man in power, seemingly with no remorse,and something needs to be done about that.

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Source: Youtube